Whats Your Standard

Before we get into the this topic, lets first understand what the word "standard" means. In this particular context, the word standard means: morals, ethics, established by authority, custom, or an individual as acceptable. So in simpler form, it would be safe to say that standards would mean, what you stand for or the esteem of which you hold yourself in.

There is an issue that i seem to continue to come across and its "order". Everyone seem to have an order for themselves but when someone else is added to the equation, somehow that order chances. Of course we have specific goals for ourselves but would those goals be less important if they went against what we ultimately believed in. For example:

There was a young lady who meet two different couples. Both were around the same age, mid to late 20's and they both were fairly new couples. The difference was, one couple went to church often with one another, prayed together on occasion and also read the bible together...we will call them "Couple A". "Couple B" was more so of the free spirit couple as some would say. They lived life as it came, went to church occasionally, didn't have a serious relationship with God but knew him enough to understand what he represented. Couple A, was looked upon as the "boring couple" who never really did anything. They would just go to church, hang out afterwards and go out and eat, movies or just visit the park from time to time. They really didn't do much, or it seemed that way. Couple B, they seem to have had all the fun. They took endless trips, went to parties, drink together and even got matching tattoo's in private areas.

Couple B, would post pics on facebook all the time of where they were and what they were doing. They even posted pics that would seem to only be for their mate but made it for the whole world to see online. They were very popular and everyone knew them, they were invited to all the events, got into VIP at all of them and even lived an "above average lifestyle". Couple A, seem to have lost the fun for life. They just used to read together alot, spend much of their time talking and getting into deep conversations about life and how a person mind thinks. Instead of just getting up and going on trips, they would plan them out months in advance. It wasn't much excitement going on in their relationship.

Couple B, months in, began to get much closer than normal. Nights of dinner partying and drinking would then lead to sleepovers. Needless to say that most people put a time limit on a sexual encounter but they felt sense they "vibe" together well, they took the dive. After then months after the sleepovers began, they began to stay at one another place so much until they moved in with one another. By this time they are in a full relationship with all the perks of a marriage. Couple A, months in, very rarely entertained one another company after the hours of 11pm. They just seemed to enjoy one another company without adding an outside element as a form of "something missing". They would do things like cook for one another, watch movies and have conversations about how they could impact the people not only around them but others as well. Even the young lady who met both couples seemed to be more interested in telling the stories of Couple B rather than Couple A. Honestly, to the listener or reader, Couple B would be the more popular couple based on society standards of what fun is.

So at this point I'm sure you know that Couple B are having sex and much of it. I mean, drinking and some smoking provoke this activity much more. Couple A has done some things but not much. I mean some kissing has happened, maybe even some massages but nothing passed that point. Also i would like to remind you that both men and woman in both couples are desired heavily by the opposite sex.

So as this young lady begins to continue to tell me the story, she skips all the way to the second year. She then begins to tell me about the couples two years from when they met and how they are doing now. She says that Couple A, had gotten married after a year and also that they bought themselves a home and are expecting there first child. They still go to church together, still read together, still pray together and they wrote a book together titled, "What I Thought". It was a book about her point of view, how she sometimes wanted the physical part to go farther but didn't want to damage their walk with God. Also about how he treated her compared to her past. Also, how he respected her body as much as he respected her opinion. Couple B, well they are still together but barely. They still party but not like they used to. They go out now but its mostly alone and occasionally catch one another in the same place. After giving one another everything you would give a husband or wife only after 3 months, they had nothing else left. They found out that the time spent around other people really ruined their relationship communication. They don't know much about one another and cant even come to an agreement on simple things like kinds of food to buy. They share a child and that's one of the main reasons they are still together. They say they will both raise him "right" but have different point of views on how that will happen..i guess they didn't pick that up in the beginning.

So in all, Couple A seemed to be the more dry/boring couple but seemed to have had morals in place from the beginning. Whereas, Couple B decided to do what they "feel" and their feelings led them to a place where they cant get that time back.

In relationships its seems to be hard but the hard part is not taking your future into your own hands.

MEN!!! You are the head of whatever relationship you decide to enter into so because of your responsibility, you have to make decisions that would benefit the future and not necessarily that moment. If you can protect a woman from an intruder, than you can protect a woman from you and your lustful thoughts or feelings. If a MAN cant control himself in the presence of a woman he feels God sent him, then how could you lead her somewhere she has never been.

WOMEN!!! When a man is nice, or says he loves you or treats you well or brings you flowers or compliments you or make you feel special....IT DOESN'T MEAN his reward should be sex. That is the one thing that God sees as a covenant between wife and husband. Neither one of you "deserve" that yet.

In GS terms "ay shawt, i aint tryn to git nuthin you got until its a rang on somebody fanga up in hea, str8 up".

We often look at the "fun" someone is having, all the things they have, the places they go, the stuff they do...but after reading Psalm 37:1-2 "Fret not yourself because of evildoers; be not envious or wrongdoers! For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb". Notice that it didn't say "the things they have" but it said "they will" meaning the people. We have to understand that our choices determine our outcome. We have seen many times that unpopular nerd in school become a president but the popular guy become someone no one ever thought he would be.

Take your time, enjoy one another...don't let the world dictate what you should do for him/her. When you add God to any equation...(allow God to LEAD) there is no way that the direction you go is nothing less than where he wants you.

So in conclusion i ask, whats your standard...what do you stand for, a continued prosperous life or a life that allows immediate satisfaction that brings future hurt?