Remember this, remember when you were a kid and you told yourself you never wanted to be like that drunk man you used to see get beat up all the time. Well, you have become him...emotionally. Remember this, remember when you had no lights and your night began when the light outside came on? Well you have become that, spiritually. Remember this, remember when you used to get laughed at and talked about because you only had 3 pair of pants, and they were tight. You only had 5 shirts and they were faded. You only had 2 pairs of shoes and they were taped? Well you have become just that to the world that YOU live in.
I writing you this so you can finally free yourself. The hurt that you suffered in 2010, the embarrassment, the feeling of being replaced, the feeling of feeling like you just took it...is only a mirage now. The feeling of being forced out of a state and being forced to not see your heart (your daughter) daily anymore, is a vague memory now. The feeling of doing all you could do with the $103 you left with on Christmas day and still provide for you child, is only a distant thought now.
Today, you will put away what people did to you. You will put away the thoughts of what you gave up to make people lives comfortable when you could have given them hell. Today you will put away the feelings of hurt, shame, defeat and failure. Today, you will not stress to the point where your hand would shake until you couldn't drive, to the point where you couldn't think straight, to the point where you wanted to just die. Today, you will forget about all the calls made, only to be ignored, all the rumors of your daughters safety, the feeling of being forgotten. Today, you will not remember the sleepless nights, the crying yourself through prayers for your family, the lies being told on you and you cant defend yourself. Today, you will not ponder on the thought of not feeling accepted, wanted, desired, loved, understood or needed.
IN FACT, Today, you will put all these things behind you. I am writing you this to remind you of who you are. You are that kid who came from a broken home, watched your dad brutally beat your mother but you are still here. You are that kid that been shot at numerous times, but you are still here. You are that kid who, went to jail and all charges were dropped and is still here. You are that kid who, gave your life to a person and they watched you literally die, but you are still here. You are that MAN, who now has a daughter that speaks to your heart, daily she tells you "I love you daddy" and you are still here. I'm writing you this to let you know that you are obviously tougher than you think. You have withstood the worse of life...homelessness, death, poverty, brokenness, pain, suffering, betrayal, distrust, BUT still you stand.
I'm writing this to inform you that today as God looks down on a person who he KNOWS....is prepared to take his testimony and share it with the world...YOU ARE GREAT. You are a great father, a great man, a great person, a conqueror, a completer, a faith driven man, a confident man, a desired man, a needed man, an intelligent man but most of all, a MAN OF GOD. As you sat in that room, all alone gasping for breath and ready to let go of the very fibers of life...you said to God, "I have lost EVERYTHING, if you are God....SHOW ME". God did just that.
You are now a man of no shame, blameless, and organized. The things of this world don't entice you. The feel of a woman's body doesnt temp you but instead, the soul of a woman intrigues you. You are deeper than words, the love for your daughter is obvious no matter how much one tries to hide it. You are a changed man in Christ Jesus. You are now blessed, not only by the earth as its cool breeze scour the tops of the sands. Not only by the sky's as its brightness overlooks your life. You are what people aspire to be. You are a direct reflection of what God's mercy and grace is all about. You are made a new'.
So in conclusion of this letter to you, walk in faith, see in heart, feel in spirit and know that God is there to guide you and keep you from the snares of the wicked. Understand that life isn't always going to sway your way, but God will give you favor in the lands and a seat in the heavens. Hold on to the hand that saved you from death, that took you from shame, that removed bitterness from your life...hold on. God is not a man that he shall lie, he said, "I came to give you life, and that you will have it more abundantly". You are now living what we call, "life". Enjoy, embrace it, feel it, love it, admire it but most of all CHANGE IT.
P.S. When your daughter was born, you gave her to Christ, and God wants me to tell you that her ending will be her beginning, so rest easy and sleep well....fear not!
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